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CutiECoReA
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Name: Sarah
Interests: campus ministry,sleeping, shopping, traveling, frenz, kindred spirits, music, piano, concerts, jazz, making homepage, photography, eating, thinking, not-thinking, eyes, optometry, languages,watching people, listening to people, falling asleep at the SLC, sitting on a random bench on North campus, beautiful weather, praying for peace of mind& calmness of the soul, parks & lakes, roses & chocolat, exploring downtown, Cold stone, bubble tea,trying new eateries, random menu items at random restaurants, daydreaming about the day i conquer the world, etc....
the list is endless...*^^*
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  ses0217
Member Since:
10/9/2003
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| It's been a fabulous Sabbath(a few hours ago) with a sunny 73 degree afternoon walk, a luxury to listen to three sermons in a row, and a time to
read some and to think some...a very rare luxury indeed.
Aside from my very short lived, but most incredible Spring break in Europe (photos posted on facebook), my life once again is consumed with eyeballs, being dilated sometimes more than once a day(hence being dependent on reading glasses at the ripe age of 25!).
We've wrapped up all the basic science courses and have entered our final quarter of the nefarious 2nd year. And as the shadows of the national boards loom with even bigger decisions ahead, i can't deny the sense of apprehension and anxiety. The bigger fear that gripped my heart was the sense of inadequacy, unpreparedness, helplessness. Life isn't a succession of scantron forms to fill out. Do i have it in me to go beyond merely the mechanical motions of an examination? Will I be able to correlate the data, analyze, question, think, and diagnose whatever the condition it is the patient has? Furthermore...will I be able to treat that patient?
My sense of weakness and frustration was almost too strong for me to handle until a radical realization hit me today.
2 Corinthians 12: 9~10
"And he said to me, My grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is
made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will i rather glory in
my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I
take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in
persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then
am I strong."
radical, eh? =)
what more need i say?!
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| Faith? works? how do u maintain the balance?
yes yes, Faith and works coexist in concert. But reeeeally. isn't that an oxymoron? 
When does it become presumption and when does it become legalism?
If you had this idea that Christianity was categorized and rated on a scale extending from "Ultra-conservatism" all the way to the other extreme of "Liberalism," you will understand what i'm talking about. 
Having grown up in the so-called realm of "ultra-conservatism,"and having seen soo many of my friends repulsed by it, I have been trying so hard to detach myself from that negative connotation. But in crying out "balanced Christianity," and being determined in my OWN efforts to be an attractive Christian, I had beautifully wrapped MY works in the "message of the Cross" that says....the Just shall live by Faith....His Love consumes All...
But at the same time, that nagging sensation, "i wasn't doing it right, I'm not keeping the Sabbath right, I wasn't eating right, dressed right, or even the fact that i wasn't actively witnessing like an LE," had me in "bondage." 
Why did Christianity seem so abstract? Why couldn't i clearly define Christianity?
That is where my problem had lain: I was trying to define Christianity instead of letting IT define me. 
I like everything in lists, bullets, tables, and charts. 
The following had turned my abstract word floaters into its respective places....and Voila! 
"Genuine faith always works by love. When you look to Calvary it is not to quiet your soul in the non--performance of duty, not to compose yourself to sleep, but to create faith in Jesus, faith that will work, purifying the soul from the slime of selfishness. When we lay hold of Christ by faith, our work has just begun. Every man has corrupt and sinful habits that must be overcome by vigorous warfare. Every soul is required to fight the fight of faith. If one is a follower of Christ, he cannot be sharp in deal, he cannot be hardhearted, devoid of sympathy. He cannot be coarse in his speech. He cannot be full of pomposity and self-esteem. He cannot be overbearing, nor can he use harsh words, and censure and condemn.
The labor of love springs from other work of faith. Bible religion means constant work.
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God that worketh in you, both to will and to do of his good pleasure." We are to be zealous of good works; be careful to maintain good works. And the true witness says, "I know thy works."
While it is true that our busy activities will not in themselves ensure salvation, it is also true that faith which unites us to Christ will stir the soul to activity. "
(MS 16, 1890)
Think of Galatians 5 a movement of a concerto. >_<
If Faith & Works had been a concert in mute to you....
Add the Love element and turn up the volume....
and listen as the Hallelujah chorus comes to life 
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| This was written about three wks ago for posting, but i couldn't until today:
Tears will not stop flowing even now as i write this...
If only words could describe what a week it's been for me and my family, i would.
I want to thank all of you who have responded to my post 6 months ago and prayed for my uncle.
And i want to ask you to continue pray for my family as my uncle has gone to sleep in the hope of the resurrection. PTL.
Our hearts still ache as the gnawing pain of losing a close, loved one is still so fresh & new.
As his death came at an unexpected time, we weren't quite ready to accept it. It will definitely take time to accept & heal. But i thank God that we can praise Him for the most amazing person my uncle was, the most selfless, incredibly honorable & loving life of integrity & service he had lead, and most of all for the hope that we have in Him who is the giver of Life, author & finisher of our faith, & the hope our resurrection!
When i first received the heartbreaking news, I denied it...as much as we knew that the doctors had said only 6 months, as much as we knew the ultimate effects of lung cancer we didn't want to believe it. (Perhaps we had prided in our faith too much?) Though we had prayed God's will be done, we, for some reason, believed that God will grant us some kinda of a miracle & heal him. May be that's what we needed to hold onto. Death was something i couldn't imagine happening especially to someone so near & dear to my heart. My uncle is the strongest person i know, there's no way that we could lose him to cancer. He pleaded for just one...just one more year to serve Him. We prayed & pleaded & begged...oh so much. Wouldn't God be cruel to not grant such a plea?
The night before i received the phone call...i missed him so much and thoughts of him came so strongly that i started to write a letter to him, cried some more & prayed for him some more. Then the phonecall...
But i never got to send him my letter...
i never got to tell him how much i loved him...
i never got to visit him (was supposed to in Aug but had changed the plans to Nov).
He never got to come visit me at school that he so wanted to see...
i never got to examine his eyes for him...
He will never get to see me graduate...the niece he was always so proud of...the niece he thought of as his own...
During my 24 hrs of travel (16 hr flight) to Seoul, memories of him replayed through my mind over and over like a movie. He was always so warm, kind, genuinely interested in my well being, and his pride & faith in me had always challenged me more than anything. Keun Appa was like a father figure to my dad & his only brother. Everything my family did revolved around my uncle's family.
After what seemed like an eternity, I landed in Incheon at 5am. How i got to the funeral hall is a blur.
I was anxious, i was unsure if he had been ready...
But Praise God, after spending time and sharing & talking with my cousin & my aunt thru tears, I have the assurance that he was prepared.
After experiencing the most graceful funeral, after seeing the funeral hall packed overflowing with people (standing room only) of all ranks in life,and each and everyone with a story to tell of how my uncle had touched their lives, and after hearing all the stories of my uncle, i was dumbfounded, i was amazed, i was truly proud & grateful for having known someone like my uncle.
In his church, he was the elder that loved & helped & advised all who needed him...
In the world of business, he was the sharp & skillful businessman who built his company from the bottom up with hard work.
In society, he was a man of integrity & honesty. Everyone trusted & respected him. Everyone was always amazed how he didn't like alcohol or women...how could he be so "clean"?
He was the leader of one of the biggest service organizations in Korea.
Among his friends, he was always there to help, he was the president of his alumni organizations.
he could never turn away anyone who came to him for help. He would never tell even his wife all the good deeds he had done. My aunt would only find out later thru the grapevine.
i can't begin to tell all the stories of my uncle, someone who i wish i had spent more time with, someone i so wanted at my graduation, at my wedding, someone who i wish i could have prayed more with.
We will never understand why God allowed him to leave us so soon.
There was still so much more for him to live for....
but we know only God sees from the beginning to the end...
and as far as i know His timing is perfect.
and we ALSO know that when the sky is rolled away and the graves are opened, when that day comes, he will rise facing the east and i plan on meeting him in the air~
But for now, please pray especially for my aunt and cousin and the rest of the family that we can see through the eyes of faith and heal.
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| No trial of difficulty...No testimony of deliverance.
If you KNOW that God in His righteous wisdom has lead you to a tight spot...
you will be able to endure it...and even learn to embrace it.
Learn not just to survive in it.
THRIVE !
So be SURE that GOD has lead you there.
be SURE that HE is at the helm...
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